I'm a planner. I also find that when I want to know about something, I REALLY want to know about it. Just check out the overflowing bookshelves in my house if you need any further proof. Thank goodness for Kindle which has cut down (slightly) on the amount of time I spend driving to Barnes & Noble or waiting on a shipment from Amazon. So, it's really no surprise to me that I've spent a good chunk of the last few weeks delving into any information I can find about running. One book that I finished within a day this weekend was The Non-Runner's Marathon Guide for Women by Dawn Dais. The title in itself was appealing to me, but her accounts of her own not-so-glamourous journey to race day left me laughing out loud. I could definitely see a lot of myself in her story.
The thing about being a planner though is sometimes I tend to get lost in the planning instead of moving forward into action. Or on the other side of the coin, throw myself completely into my "grand plan" for about 2 weeks until my body collapses in exhaustion. I guess that's why I've tried to really downplay this endeavor...as if to warn those I've told that they shouldn't expect to much because "remember, I'm not really a runner." At some point though the people that are runners went from being not a runner to being a runner. Which leads me to wonder when I will feel like I am part of the club? It's strange...when I'm running a 5K event, I don't feel out of place at all. Now, don't get me wrong I definitely feel slow but I don't feel like anyone is thinking "What in the heck is that girl doing here?" Yet somehow when I look at my Runkeeper stats I just feel absolutely defeated. And I have to find a way to stop that negative self talk, because it is the same road that has led me to give up before.
Today I ran 5 miles. While that is a short run for a lot of people, it's still a long run for me. I still didn't feel the "runner's high". I still sighed when I saw the 13:48 pace. But then I took a minute to just celebrate the fact that I spent over one whole hour doing something to better myself in both a physical and psychological sense. It's still leaps and bounds from where I was only a few short months ago. One day at a time, right?
Like this post! I had the same questions last year when I was transitioning from 'maybe' being a runner to 'really' being a runner... kept wondering: what makes the difference? How will I know? Then one day something clicked and I began to embrace the running lifestyle... how I eat, sleep, hang out - all of it becomes wrapped around the lifestyle and making healthy choices that support your CHOICE to be a runner. You'll know it when you feel it.
ReplyDeleteAs for your five-miler: ROCK ON! That's awesome! And don't fool yourself... there are MANY people who swear they could never do five miles (or one mile!). Don't be so hard on yourself.
Enjoy your journey. One run at a time. :)